I've been doing a number of blog posts related to listening; we've discussed dialogue , different types of listeners and various levels of listening. Over the next few weeks, I'd like to focus on barriers to listening.

One thing that will definitely prevent you from effective listening is being preoccupied with something else. You may act like you're listening or instruct the speaker to keep talking but your mind is a million miles elsewhere.

Have you ever tried talking to someone while they’re working at their computer? When we first moved to Chiang Mai, Thailand, my office was in our master bedroom. I’ll never forget my wife coming in to talk to me about something, grabbing my chin, and redirecting it in her direction so she could have my full attention. I literally needed to have my eyes shifted away from the distraction of my computer screen and fixed on her. She had witnessed too often in the past the effects of my preoccupation.

Several suggestions on how to dissolve this barrier. First, stop what you're doing and redirect your attention on the speaker. Multi-tasking is overrated. Plus, it signals to the speaker that they are not that important. For me, it's as easy as swinging my chair around when someone walks into my office to give them my full attention. Second, if you're in the middle of something super important ask the speaker if they could postpone the conversation until you've wrapped up what you're working on. Third, find another place to have a discussion where you're able to fully engage in listening.

[Next Wednesday we'll discuss what to do when people have their minds already made up—another huge barrier to listening.]