So far we've talked about the barriers of preoccupation or having one's mind made up. This week I'd like to focus on frequent interruptions and distractions that prevent us from listening.

We all know how difficult it is to carry on a conversation if the radio or TV is blaring in the background, OR with someone who is constantly checking their cellphone. The latter presents the biggest problem today.

Isn't it interesting that technology meant to connect us is disconnecting us like never before? We can’t carry on a conversation with the people around us without something buzzing, beeping, or vibrating. We are literally seeing people addicted to their cellphones (check out this article for some science behind this statement and this one for some practical suggestions on how to deal with it).

People "drop you" to answer something of little significance even when in deep conversation with you as something lights up on their cellphone screen. The tyranny of the urgent calls, crowding out what has substance or significance. Addicted to our phones, we disconnect from those physically around us, giving in to the urgent at the expense of the important. These communication devices are real barriers to listening.

So first acknowledge the problem. Have discussions with your family and co-workers. You'll get their attention with this article on the value of just keeping your cellphone out of sight for an increase in your productivity with a magnitude of at least 5x-10x (according to a study at the University of California, Irvine). Disallow phones at the dinner table and declare some rooms in your house or business phone-free environments. Whenever you need to have a deep conversation find a quiet place where you can offer your full attention.

[Next Wednesday I'll talk about another barrier to listening—allowing our minds to wander.]