In last week’s post, I highlighted the importance of conflict or tension within teams. High performing teams must engage in what Lencioni refers to as “passionate, unfiltered, debate” in his book, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team. You will only achieve mediocrity when members are not allowed to argue toward the best solution. Conflict is a necessary and important part of teamwork.

On the other hand, family, marital, and friend relationships have obvious differences in contrast to workgroups or teams. The former prioritizes the relationship whereas the latter has relationship born out of the pursuit of a shared vision and mission. In a family or marriage, relationship is the focal point of interest and ongoing tensions will prove unhealthy. On a team, however, your work is what drives the relationship and better work results in better relationships.

So first be aware that conflict is inevitable. It will happen. Therefore, anticipate it. All teams, churches, families, and marriages will experience conflict and tension to some extent. Paul and Barnabas had a conflict of opinion in Acts 15:36-41 (more detail on this here ). Fortunately, the outcome was positive.

Second, keep in touch with everyone’s opinions and feelings. Staying in tune with those closest to you ensures that the relational capital is there to deal with conflict when it arises. It’s like changing the oil in your car. It’s not urgent to take your vehicle in every 5000 miles for an oil change but it certainly extends its mechanical health and longevity. Likewise, it’s often wise to hold team meetings on a consistent basis if for no other reason, to check in on the status of your mission and maintain relational connection.

Finally, remember that feelings and emotions run much deeper than facts, and often the substance of arguments is of lesser importance. Deal with both the emotional and the rational; resolve conflict before it becomes disruptive.