Resolving Conflicts: Be Angry

Luke Kuepfer • Oct 23, 2019

Ephesians 4:26-27 instructs us to “Be angry and do not sin” (ESV). Another version— “In your anger do not sin” (NIV).

Anger is an emotion that must be felt—not suppressed or denied. The Greek word for anger is a command; we’re ordered to be angry. Consider that not all anger is bad; it’s often triggered by a sense of injustice—evidence of being made in God’s image (the Bible has plenty to say about God’s anger—I’ve often heard it referred to as righteous indignation ). In fact, shrugging off serious offenses is a sure sign you’re disconnected in your relationships. Concealed anger eventually leaks out and poisons relationships, much like toxic waste hidden in a mountain cave seeps into the water table. Furthermore, buried anger will eventually lead a person into pits of depression and bitterness.

The Bible is clear that we should not sin in our anger. “Go ahead, be mad...but, when you’re ticked off, remember, sinning is off limits!” (LRV*) Our problem is not anger—it’s the sinful way we tend to respond to it. Not controlling our anger is a weakness (you’re actually letting someone you don’t want to have control over you control you!); you’re strong when you release it correctly.

So let’s note several things. Expressing anger in immature, selfish, and hurtful ways is always sin. Allow yourself to “cool off” before expressing your negative emotions. Remind yourself that appropriate expressions of anger never cause fear, never belittle or intimidate, and never shut another person down.

This text in Ephesians also tells us to deal with our anger quickly— “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” The longer you wait the harder it is to resolve an issue. Going to bed angry makes your anger behave like cement in that it hardens during the night!

The devil wants us to hold on to our anger, eroding trust and commitment, and building walls of resentment between relationships. He wants us to embrace our rage long enough to destroy relationships and introduce bitterness.

“Do not erect a shrine to your anger in your heart. If you do, the devil will appoint himself its priest.” -Anonymous

*Luke’s Revised Version

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