The Apostle Paul writes: “Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will” (2 Timothy 2:22-26).

We are to PURSUE peace. That doesn’t mean that we give up after making one or two attempts. We ought to be bothered to our core when relationships are out of sorts. According to the writer of Hebrews, personal holiness seems to be tied to our peace with others— “Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord” (Hebrews 12:14).

How else do we set a model for peace? According to Paul, by having nothing to do with foolish and stupid arguments (I wonder what he would say about much of today’s vicious banter on social media). Avoid discussions and debates that have the potential to divide. Dale Carnegie has said that we never win an argument.

Finally, focus on the truth rather than attack each other; assume the posture of a learner. Realize that breakdowns in the peace process are satanic; the devil is the only one who really wins; he uses conflict to promote his purposes.